Do the Kids Hate Me?

It’s been a tough week all around. It started when we were heading back from school at the end of last week. Jack and Ethan are in the back, having a conversation. I guess they thought I couldn’t hear them; or more likely, they still don’t realize how their words affect others. They were ranking our immediate family members in “order of best” and I ranked #4. Out of 4. Logically I know not to take this to heart, but come on! Also this week, I made croissants from one of those Pillsbury tubes, and you know how there are 8 triangles in there. It’s a good math lesson, right, to ask your kids to figure out how many each person gets in a family of four? Maybe it’s a great math exercise but when your kids decide that Ethan gets 3, Jack and Daddy get 2 each and Mummy only gets 1, it’s a bruising blow to the ego.

Speaking of bruises, I have slowly recovered from my back injury, to the point where I popped in my new Yoga DVD yesterday afternoon. >The boys had their “yoga pants” on too, and were all set to participate. The DVD turned out to be one of those skanky exercise videos, a la Search for the Pussycat Doll, prompting E. to say doubtfully “Is this yoga Mummy? Because some of the positions (he really said this) don’t seem quite… right?” We turned off the DVD and the kids and I spent about an hour taking turns leading our yoga class and showing off our moves. Ethan especially loved this, using all the proper pose names. “Mummy, plank into crocodile then up into cobra. Don’t forget to curl your toes under to get up into downward dog.” Jack preferred to demo somersaults and some pose that involved hand on the hip, hip thrown out to the side and other arm flung into the air. It was very cute!

They really do make me laugh. We were making envelopes for Grandma’s birthday cards out of this brown craft paper. E. and I were busy taping his when we look up and Jack is furiously trying to lick and stick his together. His cardboard was sopping wet and me and Ethan just started howling. Ethan’s gasping, ”It’s a made envelope Jack, not a sticker one!” And let’s not forget E’s new habit of saying, “Hell-oohh” as in the really sarcastic way of saying um, excuse me? Jack pronounces Lightning (as in Lightning McQueen, hero of Cars) as “white-nine”, which I find absolutely adorable, and I think of excuses to make him say it just so I can hear his cute little voice.

Something else happened this week. Poor little Jack was peeing on the toilet. He prefers to sit down to take care of business, and he was just about to do his “digga digga” which is their code word for shaking it off after everything’s done. Ethan decides he’s gotta go too. Now. He drops his pants, and let’s keep in mind that an almost-5-year-old doesn’t quite have the aim. It all happened so fast! He tried to pee right through Jack’s legs, and, well, you can imagine. I don’t know who was more upset, E or J. I wasn’t actually any help at all because I was peeing my pants laughing. Mike had to do the clean up.

Oh, about my 40 things to do list – thanks for the suggestions and offers for help to accomplish my tasks! I’ll post updates every now and then when something gets done or underway. I did start my children’s story this week, and we’ll knock the “P” country off the list with Portugal next year. Tracy’s going to teach me poker, and Mike took me to the driving range where I think it went ok. You can ask him in private if you want. Also, Book Club surprisingly agreed to read a Religion for Dummies book for one of our selections next year, so there’s another. With any luck, I may get some of these things done!

Our 25 club Chocolate Tasting Party was a great success. We tried 12 different chocolates – 6 dark, 4 milk and 2 white. We were pretty evenly split between dark-lovers and milk-lovers; the best-loved chocolates were Bernard Callebaut 60% dark and for the milk Poulain Lait Volupté. Comments on our scorecards were things like smoky, silky, clean, unobtrusive, bitter, heaven. We found all sorts of words to describe chocolate!

The kids had busy weeks at school. Jack had his very first Party Day at preschool. He could not stop smiling. He was adorable with his little songs and poems. Ethan had his Terry Fox run and a Meet the Teacher BBQ for all of us (in the pouring rain). I also attended a Parent Advisory Council meeting – I would have called it the PAC except Mike said I have to clarify and say it’s like the PTA. For the record, they’re called PACs now. Ethan had a white t-shirt that he had to get people to sign when he told them about Terry Fox and his fight against cancer. He was a little reluctant to talk about it to people, so I tried to prompt him. I asked did he have one leg or two? So E replies, “Well there’s one and a half real legs and half a fake leg so actually he had two”. I’m trying to draw out basic facts from him and he’s arguing the finer points of amputation??? The run itself was hilarious – they only made the kindergartners run around the school once instead of doing the whole 5k, but still they were very serious. They warmed up first, then Ethan took his place in line and they all took off. Parents are running alongside, trying to take pictures (myself included) and it quickly dissolved into chaos. Jack bailed, a lady dropped her purse and I started giggling and couldn’t stop. Jack and I cut through the school (reminded me of the time people jumped in a cab in the middle of the Marathon) and met them on the other side.

We’ve just gotten home from a multi-celebration day at Mummy and Daddy’s. It was Mummy’s birthday on Thursday, so Briana and I took her to High Tea at the Secret Garden in Kerrisdale. It was very nice; delicious food and unique teas and best of all a chance to escape. It had been a while since the three of us were alone with no men and no kids, so it was a welcome escape. We also celebrated Ethan’s 5th birthday a week early, and had a champagne toast to Ben and Renee to celebrate their engagement. The thirteen of us in their house today (the four of us, M&D, Briana, Rob, Liam and Kieran, Ben and Renee, and Carl) are the thirteen who will be heading to Portugal mid-May for M&D’s 40th wedding anniversary. M&D have booked an amazing villa on the Algarve coast. Can’t wait!

This week has been packed! Looking for a little R&R this week before E’s party next weekend at Science World. Right now I feel like slippers and a big comforter to escape the rain and wind outside. I don’t think I can drink any more tea today, though…