Blogging Portugal

Let me rub my jet laggy eyes a moment and get ready to post. We are home from the beautiful and fantastic Portugal! Quick version = great holiday. Long version = read on!
The last few hours before we left for the airport on Thursday the 16th were an absolute whirlwind. I’m not kidding you when I tell you I was sprinting from room to room to collect all the last minute things to cram in our suitcases. There is an image from the Little House on the Prairie books that has stayed with me for years – girls, you may remember this! The Ingalls family went to the home of extended family members to tap the sugar maples and make syrup. The ladies were in the kitchen cooking up a storm (as all us stereotypical ladies do) and Laura was watching, fascinated by the fact that they were turning from counter to counter so fast their hoopskirts were still spinning the one way when they were already turning back the other. Although I don’t wear hoopskirts, that blur of activity was definitely me.
Barry dropped us off at YVR at 6 pm and we checked in, went through security and had some dinner. We got to our gate with an hour to kill, so we read some books and the boys found Waldo a few more times. We got called up to board first as we were “Travelling with Small Children” and then the nightmare began. We were almost walking on the plane when they stopped us to tell us the kids’ passports were expired. No kidding. I thought I was going to faint. We had all gotten our passports 4 years ago, when Jack was an infant. I had checked Mike’s and mine prior to Belize and saw that we had until May 2009 on them. I ASSUMED that all our passports expired together... not so. When kids under 3 are issued passports, they are only valid for 3 years, not 5. Good to know. We were shocked that they had been expired for a year – we’ve taken the kids across the border at least 20 times in the past year, and NOBODY has noticed they were expired. Also, that night we had already shown our passports on three different occasions to get to the gate, and had “slipped through” every time. We were upset at not noticing earlier (like, how about months earlier?) since the kids are dual citizens and we would have had time to whip home and get Jack’s UK passport. British Airways was fantastic. They were very apologetic that they had made the mistake of letting us this far, and although it was obviously our fault, they said that if we got back there the next night with valid passports for the kids, they would get us on the plane and not only that, bump us up to World Traveller Plus class. I was bawling – no, not just crying – bawling, and Jack was crying too and saying things like “Mummy why didn’t you check our passports? It’s your fault Mummy” and other helpful comments that made me feel even worse. Ethan was rubbing my back, obviously upset, but also a bit bewildered at seeing me fall apart like that. They drove us back through the terminal on a golf cart – nothing like being on display while you’re sobbing – where we had to check back through customs and then pick up our bags. Then we had to get through the arrivals section where crowds of people are waiting to greet their loved ones, and they all had to move aside to let this sobbing woman and sad children get escorted through by the British Airways lady. Mike was pretty stoic – he had called his dad, who turned around and came back to get us. One of us had to hold it together and apparently it was not me.
I ran out of tears about 12 hours later. I cried the whole night through – we put the kids to bed, and then tried to figure out what we were going to do. Jack was ok since his UK passport was still valid, but Ethan’s US and Canadian were both expired. We decided to go to the Canadian Passport office first, but have all the US stuff with us too and try the US embassy if it didn’t work out. After a sleepless night, we got the kids up early and were first to the passport office when it opened. First good news of the day – a same day passport IS possible if you have an itinerary to prove your urgency, and an extra $70 for the rush. Armed with that news and slightly emboldened, we caffeinated ourselves and got photos of Ethan as soon as they opened at 9 am. Back to the passport office where we went through the application process (and beat the huge lines because of our Urgent status) and we were told to come back to pick it up at 2 pm. My stress level decreased but it only came down in levels throughout the day. 6 am = level 10; 10 am = level 8; 2 pm (passport in hand) = level 6. We had to rearrange hotel rooms and car rentals and somehow contact my parents in Portugal to let them know we wouldn’t be at the villa for 3 pm Saturday as planned. I left a message with the kindly Portuguese man at their hotel to say we would arrive Sunday but he didn’t give them any more details than that. The next phone call was to Ben and Renee, to let them know what happened and to tell them we would be on their flight (we hoped) that night. I didn’t fully relax until we got onto the plane. At check-in, everybody knew our story and they were so helpful and wonderful. They did indeed squeeze us onto the oversold flight, got us a bank of four seats together in the bulkhead row and gave us the upgrade too. Stress @ 8 pm = level 2. The boys each watched a movie on their screens, and then slept until London. We had 4 hours in London, then a 3 hour flight to Lisbon. Mike, Ethan and Jack were all asleep before takeoff and I had to wake them up as we landed. Ethan fell asleep on the guy next to him and Jack told the guy next to him to put on his seatbelt, then turned to me and said in a loud voice, “I told that stranger to put on his seat belt, Mummy! And he did!”
We landed in Lisbon at 9:15 pm, got our bags and our Volvo, and went to the hotel we were supposed to be in the previous night. Luckily they had an opening although we still had to pay for the Friday night too. Ben and Renee had flown straight to Faro, so although we couldn’t reach my parents by phone when we landed in Lisbon, I felt a little better that at least Ben and Renee could give them the whole story. We slept in a little and then had the breakfast buffet before setting out. The drive south was fast and easy, taking a little under 2-½ hours. We got to the villa in Carvoeiro (in the Algarve region) at lunchtime – the sandwiches were ready and we sank down and relaxed poolside immediately. Briana, Rob, Liam and Kieran had all got there the previous night shortly before Ben and Renee. Uncle Terry and Aunty Cathy had arrived in the afternoon after Mummy and Daddy had checked in at 2 pm. It was great to see everybody and the kids were thrilled to see each other.
Briana and Rob barbecued kebabs for dinner, and we sat in our outdoor dining room and enjoyed the view. The villa was glorious – even better than the website had described. There were seven rooms, so each couple had their own room and the kids slept two to a room too. (I just used all three “to two too” homonyms in one sentence – hee hee!) The tile floor was cool beneath our feet, the doors opened wide to let in the ocean breeze, and the trees outside were covered in almonds, lemons and olives. It was decorated in Moorish style and had a huge kitchen and plenty of relaxing space for all. 14 lounge chairs poolside!
Over the next week, we explored Moorish and medieval castles and cathedrals, dug our toes into the sand at various beaches (each more beautiful than the next), swam endlessly in our pool, walked along the cliffs, ate good Portuguese food, discovered beautiful sights around every cobblestone corner, enjoyed driving down tiny streets (having to fold the mirrors in just to fit) and around roundabouts, and had ice cream at least once a day. We saw Sagres, Silves, Portimao, Ferraguda, and Lagos, and many other little villages along the way.
We would start every day with a dip in the pool, then go exploring – sometimes together, sometimes all separately. We would always regroup for dinner, prepared by each of us in turn. We did a Mediterranean pasta with piri-piri pork and salad, Ben and Renee did a rabbit stew with rice (oh my God, ew – thankfully they did one with chicken, and it tasted really good, but I was still grossed out), Aunty Cathy did a roast chicken meal, M&D babysat the four boys while the rest of us went out for piri-piri and seafood, and all fourteen of us went out to an Italian restaurant one night. The most special night was the catered dinner M&D had arranged to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary – the reason for the trip. It was a wonderful dinner and everything about every course was delicious. The waiter was fantastic and the chef was an expert.
I was on the quest to try every Portuguese pastry speciality, and I think I did quite well. I made quite a dent in the custard tart population of Portugal, and many other treats besides. Avoiding nuts for Ethan wasn’t as hard as I’d feared; we just didn’t let him near anything baked (they use a lot of almond in baking). The kids ate a lot of French fries (batatas fritas) which seem to be served with every meal.
Jack was sick one morning – he threw up four times in about 2 hours, and slept a ton. He woke up in the early afternoon feeling fine and was totally ok the whole rest of the vacation. Thankfully none of the other boys got sick, although Liam has been suffering since he got home from some bug that he picked up in Portugal somehow.
On Saturday morning we had to say goodbye to everyone and we all went our separate ways. Briana, Rob and the boys flew back to Victoria, Uncle Terry and Aunty Cathy flew home to Liverpool, Mummy and Daddy drove off to Spain, Ben and Renee drove up to northern Portugal, and we drove to Evora on our way back to Lisbon. We couldn’t find anywhere to stay in Evora, so we explored the walled city and some of its sights, then drove on to Lisbon. We stopped to see the monoliths (similar to Stonehenge and about 5,000 years old) and went back to the same hotel we had stayed in the first night in Lisbon. The next day we went to Sintra; so unbelievably scenic I can’t even describe it. On Monday we went to Cascais and the most western point in all of continental Europe. Tuesday was Belem, Lisbon’s castle and more. We rode on planes, trains, buses, cars, and trams.
The Portuguese love children and the boys were spoiled with adoring waiters and pats on their heads wherever we went. People would pick the kids up and rub their cheeks (which I admit freaked me out a little until I realized that they just loved children). The boys were also mostly very well behaved, and were angels on the plane. We had many compliments on their behaviour. Nobody slept the entire way home (13 hours on planes) until Jack fell asleep about 40 minutes before landing in Vancouver. He was so comatose that I carried him asleep off the plane, walked all the way through customs and laid him on the floor next to the luggage carousel where he slept peacefully for a further 45 minutes until we got our bags. He didn’t wake up until we got on the bus for long-term parking. Ethan was basically sleepwalking at this point, and both kids slept in the car and went right to bed when we got home around 8:30 pm. Jack was up at 3:30 am with Mike, and Ethan woke up at 6 am with me.
They went to bed great last night (first time in a long while that we haven’t fought them to sleep) and slept through until almost 6 am again today. Ethan went to school today and he was very excited to tell his whole class all about Portugal. I did 8 loads of laundry, a grocery shop and a Costco shop, and I think we are back on track again. I’ll probably remember more stories and specifics in the weeks to come, but that’s it for now. It’s nice to be home!
Tamsin

10 + 10

10 Reasons why I am better than my kids

1. I can eat a granola bar without requiring a bath afterwards. I can eat it slowly, bite by bite, without getting the sticky grains on my shirt or in my ear, and without smearing the chocolate chips up the side of my cheek. I can unwrap it in such a way that I don’t even get my fingers sticky. It’s an art.

2. I can drive myself places. And when I want to leave at 8:15, I leave at 8:15. Not at 8:21 after going through an intensive exhausting shoe and coat ritual, and eventually having to drive back for the lunch kit anyway.

3. If I want a glass of milk, I get it. For. My. Self.

4. I am smart enough to know when I am tired and I usually go to bed when I am asked to do so!!! Sorta depends who’s asking, I guess...

5. I can reach things in the top cupboards.

6. Even knowing what I know about some of the atrocities that go on in this world, I still try to keep a positive attitude about life. They have a positive attitude but they don’t know how hard it is so it shouldn’t really count.

7. I will try new foods. Others won’t.

8. Quite honestly, even though I am no artiste, I can draw better than them.

9. I can drink and vote and rent cars and even smoke if I wanted to. (But I don’t). Smoke, that is. I do the other stuff. Well, I only drink SOMETIMES; let’s not get carried away here. And I don’t drink like I would say I’m a drinker. Oh heck, I have a few drinks a month, ok? Which is actually more frequently than I vote so maybe I’m more of a drinker than a voter.

10. I eat candy whenever I want. Some mean person won’t let the kids do the same.

10 Reasons why my kids are better than me

1. They have more cuteness in their little pinky fingers than I will ever possess in my entire body.

2. They can ask a stranger if they have a penis or a “giner” and that stranger will usually smile and respond. Sometimes I’m unsure about which part someone has, but I certainly cannot ask.

3. They can learn concepts and virtually everything (except putting on shoes and wiping their bum) so fast it blows your mind. Jack has known about invertebrate insects and their exoskeletons and abdomens since he was two, and Ethan is a whiz at French – the star of his class as far as I'm concerned.

4. They love unconditionally and they are so not afraid to say it.

5. They totally beat me at Wii games.

6. They are way more adorable when they sleep than me. At least, I’m guessing they are because I don’t actually see myself sleep. But I see myself when I wake up and sheesh! It’s scary. They, on the other hand, are so cute that you want to crawl in bed next to them.

7. They have so much more energy than me and it lasts All. Day. Long.

8. They never get bored of watching the same movie. Or of finding Waldo again. Or of playing the “Mummy pretend you don’t know what a hug is” game. Or of reading the same books over and over.

9. Their butts are cuter.

10. Truly and honestly, they are absolutely amazing little guys. They are kind and loving, smart and funny, handsome and awesome. I am very lucky to have them.

xoxoxoxoxoxox

Is it May Already?

I am shocked that it is May already. Not only that, but it is officially MID-May. Not to alert any cyber-stalkers, but we have been preparing for our trip. I’m not giving any details as to when we’ll be gone or for how long until after we are safely home, but preparations have consumed me lately. Thankfully all the major details are now worked out so I can relax and start to get excited. For a trip that may or may not be coming up soon...

The boys were very sweet on Mother’s Day – they gave me beautiful cards they had made, and two special homemade presents. Ethan had painted a vase for me and Jack had painted a jewellery box. They were so proud of their work and I got a ton of hugs and kisses throughout the day. I stayed in bed until 12:15(!) but strangely I was tired all day anyway. Both my mom and Mike’s are out of town, so it was pretty low-key.

Mike’s brother Craig arrived home from Australia for a short time before globe-trotting off again, so we’ve spent some of the last week with him. He left today, but not before making quite the impression on the boys. They were pretty pleased that he came with me to drop them off at school this morning. Just to hear Jack’s little voice “That’s my Unca Dweg” was awesome. (He still pronounces a lot of consonants as D. So “Dar” could be “Car” or “Star” or “Tar” – it’s all about the context, people)

Mike was in LA for a week so the boys and I got caught up on a whole pile of playdates. It’s nice to be able to invite people over – but by the last playdate I was glad to clean up and be done with it. We also participated in two more of Surrey’s Environmental Extravanganza events. Every year we plant a tree at one of the local parks, and we release salmon into the streams. This year the city had chosen Unwin Park and with Mike’s dad’s help we planted two this year. The boys are real experts by now, this being our third year planting family trees, and Ethan was telling the city arborists how to do their job. He was Mister Chatty-pants and was giving all sorts of tips on how to get those trees into the holes we had just dug. We planted our biggest tree yet – it had to be 15 feet tall – then we hung around as long as I could stand it to get our hot dogs, play in the bouncy castle, and get our Environmental passports stamped. It was freezing, with a “lovely” rainy mist that soaked everything. The boys were head-to-toe mud and I had to strip them down to their skivvies and throw them in the back of Barry’s van. Luckily I had thought ahead and had a complete change of clothes for us all, or there would have been a bunch of nudists driving home!

The next day was a little warmer and brighter, and it was our Salmon Send-off day. Ethan and Jack did about 4 buckets each, so we released about 100 salmon to repopulate the streams. The boys had invited Paige and Gavin (with Sandy, George and baby Shae) and Miranda and Cabrinha (with Julie) – all the kids had fun.

We got good news at the very end of April. A visit to Ethan’s allergist showed that he is now only allergic to peanuts and nuts. It’s still serious, and he still needs to carry the Epi-Pen everywhere, but I can’t help feeling pretty happy that we only have to worry about nuts now. It’s a far cry from the first allergy test where EVERYthing came back positive. Ethan is especially pleased at the fact that he doesn’t need the skin pricks all over his back for two years now. It must be so uncomfortable to have 42 different allergens scratched into your back and then told to sit tight for 20 minutes. I know it must have been awful because when the doctor offered him some liquid Benadryl afterwards he couldn’t have opened his mouth wider if he’d tried. If you recall any of the post-tonsillectomy medicine nightmares, you too would be shocked that he accepted medicine so readily.

It’s getting late and I still have a ton of piddly little things to get done, so I’ll sign off for now with a sample of two songs composed by my boys last week.

Ethan:
“I have girlfriends, oh yeah
I love girrrrrlllllsss
Girls and girlfriends and so are mommies...”

Huh?

Jack:
“Oh mummah, I wuv you
I wuv you because you’re a girlllll
And I wuv girrrrlllllsss”

Lyricists they are not, but they are still pretty cute.

Race Report

I have to say that today I breathed a great sigh of relief that this week is over. To say it was busy is a gross understatement.
On Earth Day, I helped 20 Grade Twos and then 22 Kindergartners weed and garden around the school. There are a lot of holes in the school yard, now, due to the PAC representative’s fantastic idea to arm the children with shovels and pitchforks! Then I picked up Madelaine and Bennett from school and they came to play with the boys for the afternoon. They had a great time, and then Eliot joined us for hamburgers.
We successfully finished the last four performances of Adventures in Art and although it was tiring being at the theatre so much, it was also rewarding in so many ways. And I didn’t screw anything up on my end, so it’s all good.
After the performance on Friday night, I met my girlies for 25 Club. We were going to Bingo, but the timing was off so we just had dessert and drinks instead, which was nice and mellow. Luckily I had already packed my triathlon bag for the morning, as we had to be out of the house by 7 am.
The race went well, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a wee bit disappointed in my time. A couple of months ago I was hoping for 1 hr 25 min. I was happy with my swim and my bike times – 18 min and around 48 min respectively, but I tanked a little on the run – 31 min. And my transition times were slow because it was pretty cold, and it took me a while to get warmer clothes on between each segment. You try running several hundred feet in a wet bathing suit (which Mike got a picture of, which you will not see posted here – oh no) after swimming your little heart out and being kicked by numerous “ladies” and then trying to pull bike shorts and socks over your shivering goose pimply body. It’s hard. And I was trying to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything (bike shirt, shorts, socks, shoes, timing chip, race number, helmet, glasses, water – oh yeah, and bike) so it was nerve wracking. Once I was out on the bike course, I felt I did quite well although I never warmed up. I also ate two bugs (not on purpose, just to clear that up) but I did not fall off my bike or make a ridiculous fool out of myself as I’d feared. And it was truly awesome to have my men cheering me on: “Go Mummy”, “Yey Mummy”, etc. After the bike it took me a long time to get ready again, since I haven’t mastered the drinking while riding thing yet (I know, I know, I’m a feeb) so I needed to get some water in me. I also took off my bike shorts and shirt and I was going to run in my tri top (still wet from the pool) and my running shorts but I was still so cold I had to put a running shirt on too. And my hat. And my shoes. Oh, it just took forever... and I also had this “whoa” moment when I dismounted and tried to run back to rack my bike. My legs seemed to be working somewhat independently of what my mind was communicating. Shocking, really, that I did not fall over. So I set off on weird legs and needed to walk almost right away to down some Gu – energy gel. Well, then I needed water and the station wasn’t until 2.5 km in, so the first half of the run did not go so great. Then the energy kicked in a little, and I used some guy as my rabbit. He passed me as I was walking, but I said to myself that I was going to run as long as he was, and I used him to mentally tow me in to the finish. So my final time was 1 hr 45 min. All I can say is that it is 16 minutes faster than my last triathlon.
After the race it was another race to get showered and changed and get to the theatre in time for the show. I made it there with 10 minutes to spare (relief) and made it through the show ok. After the first show ended I ate, then the sound guy showed me his secret spot to sleep. I crashed for well over an hour until he shook me awake to do the second show. The second show went well, too, and then we got everything out of the theatre and I hightailed it home. One giant bowl of chocolate ice cream and I was in bed.
Today I did absolutely nothing except head to Casbah for a massage. Heavenly. It was a much-needed mellow day!
Until next week,
Tamsin

Sweet sweet boys

Ethan moved me to tears tonight.
I was away 5 evenings out of 6 last week, with rehearsals and performances for the Adventures in Art benefit show I am volunteering with. It's a great cause and a great group of people, but it has obviously required a big time commitment; especially in the last few weeks. Mike said that by the time Saturday night rolled around and I was not there too tuck them into bed AGAIN, Ethan was very upset and cried quite a bit. I called at 8 to say the show was over and I was on my way home, and the boys were very happy when I walked into the bedroom. I stayed in there for a while and we talked about their day. We got to spend all of Sunday together, and I stayed in Ethan's room until he fell asleep Sunday night. He has been saying lately that he's scared of what dreams may come and he actually starts to cry about it. We haven't been able to figure out what the dreams are about but I think in part he's been upset about me being gone.
Tonight I stayed in his room for a while again, quietly reading my book. He was drifting off, but he rolled over and said (out of the blue), "Mummy, can I do a lemonade stand? I would ask people to pay $7 for the lemonade so I could give the money to kids who don't have things." I was speechless for a minute, then we spent a little time talking about where he would want the money to go ("Africa" he said, "and some to Asia"), when we would do this ("when it gets hot outside so people would be sweaty and thirsty"), and where ("outside where everyone plays hockey").
I guess the end result is that the guilt I feel about this project taking me away from my family is reduced by the example I am setting for my boys. My project is two tiered - the child cast performances through Wind & Tide preschools benefit World Vision, and the money we raise there ($40,000 so far) will buy supplies and hopefully provide water to an entire village in Mali. One of the adult cast performances will benefit cancer research. I haven't talked about cancer with the boys, but I have talked with them about the World Vision benefit and what it will do for the kids in Africa who really need help. The boys also help me with our monthly food bank contributions, and the Christmas stockings we pack every year for those who are less fortunate, and one slot in their piggy banks is titled "Donate". One quarter goes in there every week. Jack gets an extra quarter when he helps me with groceries when Ethan's in school, and more often than not he chooses to put the extra one into Donate. What a kid!
So I will miss a bedtime or three this week again, knowing that in the end, everyone will benefit.
Peace,
T.

15 minutes in my life

Today I was having a hard day. In order to better cope with the kids and their eternal demands and whines I decided to make myself a cup of tea. After the kettle boiled and I was waiting for the tea to steep (5 minutes; I always set the timer because that’s the way I like it) I got out the sugar pot. There was only half a teaspoon of sugar left and I require three-quarters for my perfect cup. I’m sure this has happened to you; it can’t only happen to me:
Open cupboard to get more sugar to refill pot
Move a bunch of pantry items to get sugar container
Knock molasses onto the tile floor
Clean up glass and molasses from floor, baseboards, wall and inside the bottom three shelves of the open cupboard. This includes wiping molasses off multiple items such as raisins, canned fruit, crackers (snack shelf), rice, pasta, potatoes, flour (carb shelf), and recipe books (bottom shelf).
Wrap glass shards in paper bag
Since you’ve taken the last one, add lunch paper bags to grocery list
Throw out glass shards and molasses mess – discover the garbage is overflowing
Take garbage out
Clean up hockey sticks from driveway before someone runs over them
Put hockey sticks back in corner of garage and discover spider
Perform elaborate spider-trapping ritual and set the critter free outside
Head back upstairs to find boys engaged in game of “toss the library book”
Stop the “game” and build them a fort using furniture, pillows and blankets
Head back towards kitchen, see calendar sitting out and remember that tomorrow is a field trip
Fix collapsed fort
Go upstairs to get red field trip vest so you don’t forget it tomorrow
Change laundry to dryer, hang “do not dry” clothes in bath
Wipe toothpaste from sink
Take discarded pyjamas back to clothes hamper in bedroom
Get red vest
Seeing bed reminds you how tired you are, think to yourself you could really use a cup of tea
OH YEAH! MY TEA!
It’s now so cold and so strong but I have to drink it anyway. It’s the principle of the matter, really.
See ya,
Cinders

Just your typical week

I’d like to know who designed the sensors on toilets. You know, the automatic flush? Seriously. Because it never auto flushes when I’m actually done, but usually halfway through – the bidet effect. Bidets are okay if you are expecting to use a bidet, but when it takes you by surprise, look out! I try to keep my torso still while stretching my arm for the toilet paper, but invariably I move just a little too much for those happy flushers and KER-SPLASH! Surprise! But then, just try to get it to flush when you want it to. You get up off the toilet, move a little to one side, then to the other... before you know it, you’re doing this insane toilet shuffle dance in your stall. But the secret is to keep your feet still so nobody outside can tell you’re boogieing in there. Unfortunately your feet are usually pointing towards the back wall at this point since you’re looking to see if it’s going to flush, so probably everyone is wondering how a man snuck into the ladies’ room anyway. And a dancing man at that. After you wave your hand up and down and shake your body all around (throw in a little hokey pokey if you’re really into it), please just admit defeat. The flush is LAUGHING at you. Just cave in and press the little button. They try to hide it because they like seeing you squirm (and by they I am of course referring to the little flushing gremlins who work the auto flush) but it’s there. Since you have to press the button yourself every time anyway, it makes you wonder why they spent a million dollars per toilet anyway. But it’s their nickel I guess. And I think the inventors of the auto flush also operate the sensors at traffic lights because THOSE never work for me either. But since certain watches stop ticking when placed on my wrist, and debit cards never work when I have to swipe them myself, I’m beginning to think it may just be me and my delightfully magnetic personality.
I had a treadmill war the other day. I got onto #3 (which, not surprisingly, is located between #2 and #4) and started off with a brisk warm-up walk, which was Walk button plus .5 mph. #2 was walking also, but cranked hers up a couple of notches to match my pace. After 2 minutes, I pressed Jog, which took me to a 5 mph pace. #2 also pressed Jog. After a minute of Jog I realized it was too slow and I pressed Run (7 mph, or 8.5 minute mile). #2 let out this disgusted noise somewhere between a sigh and a snort, and pressed Run also. (Maybe she didn’t know that I saw her but she actually pressed Run and then down two notches – slacker) After 10 minutes of Run she was grunting, and I pressed Jog to take a drink of water. This time her sigh was Relief with a capital R, so when I pressed Run again after 1 minute she was not amused. She kept darting these dagger looks at me as she’s gasping for air – c’mon! I’m just doing my own thing here! After another 10 minute set I Jogged for another drink and then Ran – that was it; she slammed her hand into Stop and stormed off. I got to chuckling and nearly fell off the treadmill like my friend did (not naming names here but it starts with “S” and ends in “andy”). I got serious and finished with another 10 minute Run.
It is only 2 weeks to my triathlon, after all. I got in another good run on Thursday, yesterday I cycled but only for 30 minutes, and today I did a killer cardio class which involved some boxerfit moves. I haven’t done that since before we were married so those muscles aren’t exactly thanking me today. I am drinking a ton of water and find myself in the bathroom constantly.
Which was the scene of my most recent humiliation. We were at the airport waiting to pick Mike up from Fargo, ND (geek conference, lost luggage, snow) and we paid a visit to the restroom. (how come I have no trouble using the terms restroom, bathroom, ladies’ room, toilet interchangeably but if I ask where’s the bathroom in LA they look at me blankly until they say oh, you mean the RESTROOM like they’re so completely different and I must be a moron) The only stall big enough for Jack, Ethan, and me is a wheelchair one at the end and once I determined that we weren’t taking the spot of a needy wheelchair occupant, we went into that one. The lock was broken, but Ethan was already peeing so I figured ok, we’ve committed to this one. When it’s my turn I said, as specifically as possible, “The lock is broken on the door, okay? So please don’t touch the door because it will swing open and I don’t want it open while I’m on the toilet, okay?” Ethan tucks into the corner and Jack nods solemnly. I sit down and half way through Jack starts to move towards the door (you knew it was going to be him, right? Because if anyone is going to pretend not to hear me, it’s going to be him. And he has to do it so darn cute-like which is infuriating because you still want to squeeze him and eat him all up. But I digress) as I say “Jack, noooooo”. He throws a look over his shoulder at me and gives one little one-finger push (like Nemo touching the boat with his fin; you know what I’m talking about) and the door swings wide, wide into the aisle. I’m panicking but can’t exactly MOVE at this given moment, and Ethan, God bless him, blocks anyone’s view of me, reaches for the handle and swings the door shut. Jack leans back against the other wall with this “Oh” look on his face as in “Oh, I’m going to get it now but I’m sure glad I did that anyway”. I was mad but since nobody in the restroom actually saw me, the only thing I did was took away the star he’d earned at dinner for good behaviour + no accidents.
He’s actually already earned his first prize – a binder with hockey card inserts for all his cards. Ethan needs one more star to get that, and he’s dying for it. He’s more into hockey anyway (he’s outside playing as I write) and he’s got more cards to put in there too. Jack got to 10 (which sounds good but we’ve actually been doing it for about 60 days) and he’s now at 2 on the second round. Ethan’s at 9, first round, but now he’s seen the prize he’s a little more motivated.
I went to see Chris Rock this week. He was very funny. Raunchy, racial, but funny. The opening act was hysterical too; I had tears pouring down my face and my cheeks hurt. It’s so hard to remember what he said and how he said it but it was something about mutes and cell phones. Chris Rock himself was great, although I found myself swearing a lot the next day. Guess it was catching!
That’s it for now, see you next week!