Because I Had Nothing Better to do with My Time

So back in March or April I agreed to help Canadian Parents for French with the annual monetary awards they provide to graduating french immersion students. We sent letters to the school, read the applications, and judged the winners. The last task was to present the CPF award at the commencement ceremonies. The school I got had the grand ol' ceremony at the Bell Center for Performing Arts on Friday night. I was asked to arrive at 6:30 (no problem, said the other CPF gal, I was home by 8:30) for the presenters' reception.

So I did.

What it was, was a fruit plate in a shockingly hot library. I received my instructions and sat down on a chair with a nice old gentleman from the Legion (shout out to Doug the Legion man!) to watch the second period of the Stanley Cup final. Right around 7 pm they said they were ready for us. We were marched into the auditorium (seats 1052 and packed to the rafters) in a single file and this hush descended over the audience. The bagpiper started (Nails on a chalkboard) and the grads filed in. And in. And in. OK, nobody told me there were 295 grads. And that my girl = 246th.

Once everyone was seated (Freakin' HOURS later) there were four speeches totalling 45 minutes in length. One was funny... the rest: meh. Finally the first row of grads left the stage and when they came back, each one went through this process: MC announced name, Student crossed stage, MC said what student's favourite moment of the year was, Principal changed tassel and gave diploma, posed for picture, MC said what grad will be doing next year, special awards given (if any), two more handshakes and picture poses, student left stage.

Did I mention, 295 grads? And my girl, 246th? All I could think was, I shaved my legs for this?

10 o'clock. 10 O'CLOCK and I was finally up. I walked on stage, thought oh no what if I trip in front of all these people and then: oh my God can they see up my skirt? Because I was wearing those hideous flesh coloured Spanx underneath and that would be worse than death if 1000 people could see them. And then I thought: thank God I shaved my legs for this.

I shook my girl's hand, said Felicitations, smiled for the camera, gave my envelope, and walked off stage, out the door and straight into my car. I apologize to grads 247 - 295. I'm sure you had many good memories I should have listened to, and an exciting future I should have paid attention to, but.

Did I mention we move on Saturday? Holy waste of time Batman. And you know how much CPF gave this very deserving girl? $400. Yippee Skippee. Next year I'm picking a kid whose name starts with A.