Thursday, August 21, 2008


Dear Family:
Although we have had this discussion an infinite number of times, it bears repeating since it appears as if my message has been falling on deaf ears. (And by “discussion”, I suppose that I mean one-way rhetorical monologue)
The issue at hand:

I suspect the five-year-old when it comes to unflushed excrement, and the leftover urine can be attributed to either the four or the five-year-old. But stray pieces of toilet paper could have belonged to anyone. And the toenail clippings? Feel free to hypothesize but I will give you a clue and hint that his name could start with “M” and might possibly end in “ike”.
My personal feeling on the matter is that if an object is of so little value and quite disgusting enough to be placed in the toilet anyway, then said object should be flushed away forever, preferably immediately. Walking past my own bathroom in our first-world country and having that bathroom smell like a sewage ditch from an undeveloped nation is simply not acceptable.
Here is the solution, located conveniently on the side of the tank:

Simple, no?
With gratitude and appreciation for your immediate attention in correcting this deviant behaviour – The Matriarch

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