Friday Fill-Ins #12

1. When I'm sick I'm forced to continue on with regular life. I am, after all, a mom.
2. When I take a walk, I think about one foot, two foot, don’t trip, one foot, two foot, don’t trip...
3. Money can't buy happiness but it can help me travel to Hawaii which makes me VERY happy.
4. Cotton makes me comfy and leather makes me sweat.
5. The strangest person/character I've had lewd thoughts about was Wile E. Coyote. And let me clarify, it was in a dream and I drank a Neo Citran before bed that night. Weird.
6. My favourite colour these days is teal because it looks pretty good on me and it’s everywhere this fall.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to nothing, tomorrow my plans include a party at Kim and Gene’s and Sunday, I want to BBQ at Shannon’s!

Thursday Thirteen #12

Thirteen things that every woman should know how to do

(I stole these...)

1. Take off a bra through a shirt sleeve
2. Choose the proper people to accompany you to the bathroom at the bar
3. Select a trashy novel for reading at the beach
4. Keep kids busy in order to go to the bathroom alone
5. Prepare an elegant appetizer from random pantry supplies for unannounced company
6. Respond to a child's midnight announcement of, "I have to bring 75 brownies to school tomorrow."
7. Filch the phone number of a good babysitter from the neighbour
8. Get makeup off a cell phone screen
9. Extract the good candy from the Halloween bags without the kids noticing
10. Actually download pictures from the digital camera
11. Create 3 or more plausible reasons to "stop by Target"
12. Drive in the snow
13. Surprise a child by going to 7-11 for a "treat" without him knowing it's because you need a slurpee

Friday Fill-Ins #11

1. Dancing to the song while playing Rock Band makes me mess it up completely. I have to stand there motionless while singing, usually with one hand in my pocket.
2. The last time I sneezed I nearly peed my pants. Oh, the joys of motherhood.
3. When I drive I speed, shamelessly and consistently.
4. I saw Gwynneth Paltrow standing near my locker at a spa in Santa Monica. She was tiny, like a size zero, and I was pregnant and gigantic in comparison. I heard she’s 5’9”, same as me, but she was a waif.
5. Give me space, give me room, give me this girls weekend NOW.
6. Next week I am looking forward to taking the kids to the fair at the PNE. Not looking forward to all the money I’m going to have to spend there, though. Seriously, a pickle for $5? I know it’s a Pickle with a capital P, but seriously?
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to belly dancing with the girls, tomorrow my plans include kayaking and enjoying our girls weekend and Sunday, I want to join Mike and the kids at my company picnic for some fun, food and games.

Flush

Dear Family:
Although we have had this discussion an infinite number of times, it bears repeating since it appears as if my message has been falling on deaf ears. (And by “discussion”, I suppose that I mean one-way rhetorical monologue)
The issue at hand:

I suspect the five-year-old when it comes to unflushed excrement, and the leftover urine can be attributed to either the four or the five-year-old. But stray pieces of toilet paper could have belonged to anyone. And the toenail clippings? Feel free to hypothesize but I will give you a clue and hint that his name could start with “M” and might possibly end in “ike”.
My personal feeling on the matter is that if an object is of so little value and quite disgusting enough to be placed in the toilet anyway, then said object should be flushed away forever, preferably immediately. Walking past my own bathroom in our first-world country and having that bathroom smell like a sewage ditch from an undeveloped nation is simply not acceptable.
Here is the solution, located conveniently on the side of the tank:

Simple, no?
With gratitude and appreciation for your immediate attention in correcting this deviant behaviour – The Matriarch

Thursday Thirteen #11

13 things you probably never knew about me

1. At night, I keep myself at the ideal temperature by using The Regulator. This is a process that involves sticking my right foot out of the covers. Just the toes in winter, up to the hip in summer.
2. I hate the phone. I loved it when email became more prevalent; it is definitely my communication tool of choice. It started when I was little and my parents had me phone the airport information line to check Gran’s flight arrival time. They dialled a wrong number and held the phone to my head as I had to talk to a stranger. He asked me my name and then he said, “Tarzan? Do you live in the JUNGLE Tarzan?” until I burst into tears and my dad realized his mistake.
3. I have always wanted to own a sword. I used to go into House of Knives and stare at the swords until the salesperson got all shifty and uncomfortable. I don’t know what I would DO with a sword if I had one, but there you have it.
4. Although I love chocolate and I love Pop-Tarts, I don’t love chocolate Pop-Tarts.
5. I actually like rain. It's refreshing, peaceful and smells good. And it appeals to my melancholy.
6. I have a brown spot in the iris of my right eye, which is mostly blue. The other eye is totally blue. I just had to go to the mirror to check which one has the spot.
7. In my earliest memory I'm walking down a street in England with my dad. It was before we moved to Canada in 1975, so I wasn’t quite 2 years old yet.
8. I will never own a minivan. NEVER.
9. My first name is derived from Thomasina, and some say it was commonly given to witches during the Middle Ages.
10. I have an ancestor who was a pirate and there is an island named after him just off the coast of Central America.
11. Clowns scare me.
12. Same with ghosts, but I will talk to ghosts. I won’t talk to clowns.
13. My porn name would be Whiskers Francis (first pet, street I grew up on). Or else Mog Church. Neither one is remotely sexy, so I definitely would not make a good porn star.

The Frantic Fading Weeks of Summer

It dawned on me today that there are exactly two weeks left before school starts. A little sort of a hyperventilating panic set in – there are many things I still want to do with the boys before September. And yet, I am excited to have a little more non-boy time on my hands once school is back in full swing. E. will be in school 8:40 – 2:30 EVERY weekday! Woo hoo! And J. will be 3 mornings a week. So even if I volunteer one morning in E’s classroom again (if the teacher wants me!) I will have two mornings to myself again. And one day at work, which is all about me, me, me. (Oh, and about work, too) Ah, freedom!
------------------------------
Sorry, I was sidetracked for a minute doing a little happy dance. Wish you could have seen it... naw, I’m glad you didn’t. Any last shred of respect you may have for me would have disappeared.
Well, we still have a ton of things to squeeze in, but that doesn’t mean we’ve been idle for these first two weeks of August. Silly fools that we are, we have been jam packed:
Aug 1st: Bowling with the boys. And Mamma Mia for me in the evening.
Aug 2nd: Day at Granville Island with our guys, Briana, Rob, Liam & Kieran, Jen, Laurence & Hannah then dinner at my M&D’s.

Aug 3rd: Played Wii with Barry in the morning, then went to the Sandcastle competition at the Spirit of the Sea festival in White Rock.


Aug 4th: BC Day – decided to run errands, forgetting that places like Costco close on holidays. Came home and rode bikes instead.
Aug 5th: Played pirates and Pokemon all day. Tired us out:

Aug 6th: Worked.
Aug 7th: To my friend Linda’s on one of the hottest days of the year, where we picked blackberries and all the kids organized and ran relay races like they were competing in the Olympics themselves. Swim lessons in the evening.
Aug 8th: Abbotsford Air Show all day, then watched the Olympics Opening Ceremony in the evening. There began my Olympic TV obsession for 2008. Next Olympics I’ll be too busy to watch any events on TV, and hopefully I’ll be at some of them!

Aug 9th: Took the ferry over to Sooke on our camping trip. Waited out a rain squall to erect the tent. The boys jumped on the trampoline in swim shorts and rain jackets. Went to bed and froze throughout the night.
Aug 10th: The day dawned beautifully sunny. We spent some time at the beach, had a picnic, then swam off the dock in Sooke Basin. Ate a great BBQ dinner and then had s’mores.

Aug 11th: Another great Sooke day. Lots of Lego, Slip N Slide and Stomp Rockets.

Aug 12th: Laundry (like 18 loads) then to the Vancouver Zoo. Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my! And a hippo.

Aug 13th: Worked.
Aug 14th: Saw my parents in the morning, swam in Kim’s pool all afternoon, then the kids went to swimming lessons and I went and tried archery for the first time. I had a great time and won two donut holes and an apple for hitting the right targets!

Aug 15th: Saw Nancy and her kids, up from San Diego for a vacation. Spent the day at the lake with them!

Aug 16th: Spent the day at the other side of the lake with the Mintens, Kim and Gene. Then that night our neighbours set up a projector and screen so the kids could all watch a movie outdoors. Curious George was a big hit, but the kids didn’t go to bed until 11!

Aug 17th: The boys hung out with Mike while I had my Olympics interview and training. (It went well, I hope I’m in!) They went to Susan’s for dinner while I hit the Night Market with Carrie and Ivana for some Dim Sum and Bubble Tea and cheap shopping.
Aug 18th: Jack and Mike had their father-son Woodworking class where they made a wooden train while Ethan and I had some quality time building a treasure chest at home.

And today we’ve done nothing but bead. Those Perler bead crafts are still a huge hit around our house! We still hope to hit the waterslides, the PNE fair, the waterpark and lots more before September. Wish us luck!

Friday Fill-Ins #10

I had this all ready to go to post Friday morning, then got really busy lounging at the lake for a couple of days. So here it is, late but better than never!

1. The last meal I had at a restaurant was sushi (veggie dynamite roll) and sunomono at Hi-Dojo’s for lunch Wednesday.
2. Other people’s feet is something I intensely dislike.
3. The full moon is mysterious, beautiful, and sometimes makes me cry. I am a Cancer, so I’m supposed to be a moon girl.
4. “There you go, have a nice day” is one of my favorite local expressions. “Local” is our household, and this phrase is my favourite because it is uttered by Jack every time he farts.
5. Sometimes it's best to keep your mouth shut and your eyes and ears open.
6. Batman: The Dark Knight is the best movie I've seen so far this year!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to nothing, tomorrow my plans include spending the day by the lake and Sunday, I want to ace my Olympics 2010 volunteer interview and training session, then relax with the girls at the Night Market!

Thursday Thirteen #10

13 things on my 40 before 40 list that I’ve knocked off this past year

1. Religion 101 – or Religion for Dummies?
   We read this for Book Club Aug 2008 – very interesting. I am happy to have a better understanding of Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity and Islam, with a lesser understanding of Shinto, Sikhism, Confucianism, and Taoism. I would still like to know more about the differences within Christianity (Catholicism, Protestantism, etc) but I am happy to have learned what I did. Most important thing to take home: most religions have more in common fundamentally than most people realize. And there’s a lot of “isms”.
2. Perform one random act of kindness every month, anonymously and without recognition
   Done at least monthly Sep 2007 – Aug 2008, but sometimes I get found out! My favourite is to pay for the lady behind me in the drive-thru Starbucks. As long as she doesn’t order a vanload.
3. Swim with dolphins
   In the interest of being eco-friendly after I learned about some of the mishandling that happens at the “swim with dolphins” places, I changed this to “Swim with Sharks” and did it in Belize.
4. Sample more cuisines of the world – try something new each month
   Here’s what I did:
   October Ethiopian Doro Wat & Flatbread
   November Malaysian Noodles
   December Cuban Tamales & coconut flan
   January Belizean BeansNRice & tres leches
   February French Coq au vin
   March Filipino Chicken
   April Burmese Chicken
   May Portuguese piri-piri
   June Caribbean fruit salsa
   July Australian lamingtons
5. Go one week without watching TV
   Did this in Belize and didn’t miss it a bit. I still don’t know if I could do it at home, however.
6. Learn to play poker
   Spent a fun evening with Gene, Kim, and Mike playing poker. Learned enough to get by for now! I’d like to play again, though… any takers ready to get rich off me?
7. Spend an afternoon (or maybe just an hour; whatever it takes to get through a bucket of golfballs) at the driving range, and try not to be a spaz
   Done last August, then this June again and even completed a golf tournament for work. I am enjoying myself and I’m ready for my next golf date.
8. Try archery
   Tonight I am going to an archery shoot. Yes, I will be (hopefully) winging those arrows (hopefully) towards a target and (hopefully) getting bullseyes. Or I may just get a black eye and slink home in shame.
9. Start and continue an exercise regime for three months, even if it kills me
   Worked out Sep, Oct, Nov & Dec – took Jan off – consistent again Feb, Mar, & Apr. Since then – not so much! But I ran again a week ago, and biked (sort of) on Tuesday, so I’m back, baby.
10. Read 3 classic novels I should have already read
    I picked the following:
    Catcher in the Rye (Salinger) – awesome and disturbing and apparently the stuff serial killers like to read – who knew?
    A Room of One’s Own (Woolf) – very feminist and realistic, even 80 years later
    Gone With the Wind (Mitchell) – halfway through I am captivated by the story at the same time as repelled by some of the language and racism. It’s hard to struggle through some parts but I feel it will be worth it!
11. Buy a plant and keep it alive, instead of treating plants as if they are meant to be disposable
    So far so good with 3 houseplants alive for the past year. Outside plants – well, they’ve lasted six weeks so far! That is almost a record for me…
12. Organize a box for each child to hold their special childhood crap memorabilia, limit size of said box so that they can never say they don’t have room for it in their own house
    Stuffed in Jack’s closet at the moment in a large Rubbermaid container.
13. Stay connected with my girlfriends
    25 club, Book club, Experience club, La femme club all going strong. I love my girl nights!

Now only 27 to go before July 4, 2013...

Fun and Games

My shoulder has been bothering me for a while. I don’t know exactly what I did but it felt out of place and I couldn’t point all the way straight up. (Which bothered me, although it’s not something I necessarily need to be able to do often. But I felt the need to show people – here, see this – I can’t DO this. No, I guess I don’t really NEED to do that but I’d still like to have the option.) Well, I’d tried a bunch of things but what actually worked was an accident. I was playing at the park with the kids and decided to take a turn on the monkey bars. One long-arm swing and my body weight popped my shoulder right back into commission. So to those of you suffering now, I say to you: Forget physical therapy, chiro or acupuncture. Monkey Bars, baby; Monkey Bars.

How would you answer this question when it comes out of the blue:
“Mummy, does five have a middle?”
The crazy thing is I knew immediately what Ethan was talking about before he even went on. Yes, I said, five does have a middle. He says, “Like three has a middle, and one is just one, but two and four have no middle.” Evens and odds, people. X X X X X – look for the middle! See, it’s there! My son is weird and so am I.

Everyone, please cheer for Tamsin Barnett of the Australian women’s Olympic beach volleyball team. Because, obviously, there aren’t too many other world-class TAMSINs out there, so let’s give some props. She’s slightly more athletic than I and a little leaner, and she’s 6’1’’, blond and tan, but we’re really a lot alike. Really. My GOD can their “uniforms” get any smaller? It’s bordering on the obscene. I am watching in horror in case something pops out. Also I keep worrying that their feet are going to get burned in the sand. I think I’ll switch over to synchro swimming or maybe some nice calm equestrian event. This is way too stressful. Except that the announcers have said the name “Tamsin” about forty times in the last ten minutes and frankly, I appear to be unable to switch away from hearing my own name. It’s captivating. It’s weird, I never hear my name anywhere like you Michelles and Kims. My head cranks around when someone asks “What time is it?” (say it fast and you’ll get it). So until this match is over I’m stuck. Plus the Aussies are playing the Russians and I’m pretty sure that one of the Russians used to be a man so I keep watching to check. And I just heard the loudspeaker say Tamsin in Chinese which was also pretty cool.

On another Olympic note, I had my phone interview for my Olympic volunteer position. It went well – sounds like I’m being earmarked for delegate management or something like that. It involves taking care of other countries’ athletes and coaches by driving them places, helping them with administrative stuff and translating for them. Next is the group interview and customer service training, then after the criminal background check I should be good to go. In another two years.

Me and the boys went to the Abbotsford Air Show today and what a great day we had! I wasn’t sure how long they’d last because it’s hot and loud and crowded, but we were there 7 hours. Yes – 7 HOURS.

The temperature turned out to be perfect, we used our earplugs and the lines weren’t long at all. The most we had to wait was probably 10 minutes to get into one of the cockpits. It was a great show, and all the air crew of the various aircraft were so great to the kids. All the stunts and fly-bys were awesome and touring through all the aircraft was a lot of fun. I’d packed enough snacks and drinks to last us all day, with a hot dog each for lunch and a splurge for mini-donuts. Way cool. (How uncool does that make me to say something like “way cool”? Just checking.) The Snowbirds were the best. I get very emotional watching them fly – it’s poetic and beautiful as well as being fast and aerobatically impressive. Loved it!
Ethan took this shot – here I am with Jack in an F-18 cockpit.
Jack took this one of Ethan - hee hee! Where's his head?
Here’s Jack "flying" one of the giant planes
And my two cuties – what’s not to love about mouths full of hot dog?

We’re off camping – catch you when we get back!

PS – Match point. Tamsin pulled through and won it.

Friday Fill-Ins #9

1. You know you're old when you’re shopping in Junior Trendsetters and you get the evil eye from a 14-yr-old who wears a size zero. You slink out.
2. My heart is divided between me and them.
3. A hot fudge sundae is what I need RIGHT NOW!
4. I have felt the chlorine sting my eyes, I have known the depths of the swimming pool at the YMCA.
5. Gah, won't these people in my head JUST SHUT UP.
6. Help other people – donate blood, volunteer time, or give money as soon as you can!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to watching the Olympics Opening Ceremony on TV, tomorrow my plans include going camping and Sunday, I want to wake up in the fresh air and enjoy a day of nature!

Thursday Thirteen #9

13 of my best new-mom tips

1. Initiate the baby to restaurants early if you intend to eat in restaurants with them as children. We started Ethan at a couple of weeks old and Jack at a couple of days. They have always been pretty darn good dining companions and have NEVER run around restaurants (my pet peeve).
2. Breast-feeding is hard. In my experience, it didn’t come naturally to me or to the boys. Make use of the lactation consultants that the hospitals offer you. You will get groped by strange women but in the end it will help you immensely. And if you can’t breastfeed or simply don’t want to, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for it. You are still providing for your child if you give them formula. They are not going to grow up stupid because of it.
3. Always double-make the crib. I always layered one waterproof sheet on the bottom, a crib sheet, then another waterproof sheet and another crib sheet on top. That way, if they puke or the diaper leaks through in the middle of the night, you only have to strip one layer and the bed is already made underneath.
4. Take a picture of your baby in the same spot every month for the first year, and then if possible every few months or every year after that. You will be shocked and amazed at how fast they grow, and seeing it represented in pictures is that much more shocking!
5. Never go to bed without checking on your baby and whispering in their ear that you love them. Ethan just told me the other day that he hears me sometimes when I do that which made me just a little bit weepy. Also it is worthwhile for another reason – I was able to monitor Ethan’s sleep apnea a little better because I knew his regular routines.
6. Before you blow up at something the kids have done, ask yourself a) Does it really matter and b) Was it an honest accident? If the answers are No and Yes, then don’t get mad even if your carpet is ruined or there is a hole in the wall. Yes, our carpets are ruined and yes, there are holes in our walls.
7. Stand up to those “helpful” strangers who have no qualms about stopping you on the street and offering “great” advice about your baby. Cover him up, take off the blanket, feed him more, feed him less, I mean c’mon! Feel free to nod politely and move on.
8. Give up on the housework. It’s really not important – what’s important is spending time with your beautiful new human. If you must do something every day, just do the one thing that you can’t stand to let slide. For me, it is having a tidy living room and making the beds. That takes all of 10 minutes. The rest can wait. Until your kids are teenagers.
9. On the housework thing still, once the kids were old enough to sit in the bath by themselves but not old enough to be left alone in the bathroom, I would use that time to clean the bathroom. The toilet, the mirrors, the sink and counters all got done while they were playing in the tub. Then, I admit, the most the tub ever got was a quick swish after they were towelled off.
10. If your baby becomes attached to a blanket, go out and buy a second one exactly like it. Rotate the blankets so they both get worn the same and smell the same. You will thank me for this when one of them gets left at daycare or falls off a boat or is packed in lost luggage.
11. Take time out for yourself and try not to feel guilty. Whether you escape for an hour to grab coffee with friends or just take a long hot bath after the kids are sleeping, know that taking that time is essential for your sanity.
12. Storage! Our coffee table in the living room has a fantastic amount of storage. The top drawer was colouring books and crayons, the bottom drawer was diapers and wipes, and the huge cupboard held all the toys we kept downstairs. It was so easy to sweep all the kid mess into that cupboard after they went to bed, then I wasn’t surrounded by toys in the evening and I could relax and feel like me again, an actual grown-up human.
13. I always kept the diaper bag packed and ready. If it wasn’t already in the car, it was waiting by the door. It was one of the first things I did when I got home from somewhere – restock, reload.

Snippets

Conversation at dinner Friday night:
Mike: “Ethan, why aren’t you using your fork to eat your rice?”
Ethan: “Oh, Daddy, that’s just the way I roll.”

Best moment from the movie Mamma Mia:
Pierce Brosnan and Colin Firth in Abba-wear singing Waterloo. Priceless; I had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard.

Best family time:
Having the four cousins playing happily together at the fort in Fort Langley, at the playground, at lunch, at Granville Island, at another playground, at the boat, on the stairs, in the market, in the backyard, in the basement, at the dinner table, watching a movie, with their Pokemon cards, playing Shark Bingo... just enjoying time together. They are all so different but they have so much fun together.

New favourite indoor play place:
Captain Kid’s indoor play centre. Lots of climbing around areas, slides, and foam-padded walls. The kids had perma-grins – they just loved it!

Funny laundry story:
My mom confessed to Briana that she had accidentally washed one of Liam’s Pokemon cards and had to throw it away. She did NOT tell Liam. Briana confessed to us that she had accidentally washed a whole BINDER of Pokemon cards once. Over 150 of them! She just dumped the whole laundry basket in and turned it on. Did she not HEAR the clunking? Too funny. She had to spread out all the cards, peel them out of their plastic sleeves, and put books on them to dry them flat.

Romance Languages:
Take five Italians and one Canadian who also speaks French and some Spanish, and you have yourself a conversation. They spoke in Italian and I could follow along just fine. When it came my turn to talk, I could use a mixture of English, Spanish and a little French, and they could understand me just fine. What a fun night!

God:
Ethan swears this is a statue of God and demanded he get a picture taken with God. Is it God – or Sir James Douglas, first governor of British Columbia? You decide.

Annual Family Activity we should definitely continue:
The annual Lehn/Passmore/Cunha/Clark Redwood Park picnic. The kids have such a great time running around the park and it is so peaceful and beautiful there. The adults relax with food and blankets and get a chance to chat. This year, we added a couple of Michauds too so next year we’ll be a five-family affair. Lots of fun.

Humiliating moment of the week:Bowling a 106 at Sandcastle Lanes. With bumpers on the lanes. I barely beat Ethan and Jack, but was beaten by Nola (age 6) and Hudson (age 3). And of course Carla whipped my butt. It was supposed to be Adults vs. Kids, but I couldn’t carry my end of the adult score and the kids smoked us. I don’t know if Carla will bowl with us again. I should have realized I was in trouble when they strolled in wearing matching bowling shirts.

Activity I wish I had found in winter:
Perler Beads. The boys LOVE this and the first question out of their mouth in the morning is "can we bead after breakfast?" They didn't even ask to play Wii on Friday - all they wanted to do was bead.

Friday Fill-Ins #8

1. If I could travel back in time, I'd go to England before Aunty Rita died and hug her one last time. I’d tell her how much she meant to me over the years and what a role model she was as a strong single woman. That helped me immeasurably through my teenage years. And then I’d go further back and cure cancer so she would never get it in the first place.
   
2. Give me time or give me money. I’m not picky.
   
3. I am listening to Ethan eating toast. Man, he is LOUD.
   
4. Somewhere, someone is thinking that life is too hard and that maybe it would be easier to escape from it permanently. To that person, I tell you to perservere. More people need you than you probably realize.
   
5. I'll always be a nerd. Only now, I don’t care, and for a thirty-five year-old the things that used to be nerdy are now actually ok. At least, that’s my story and I am sticking to it.
   
6. My idea of a good time includes lots of laughter with good friends. And Gin.
   
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to seeing Mamma Mia with the theatre crew, tomorrow my plans include playing with my nephews and my sister and Sunday, I want to enjoy the sun in Whistler, but a gigantic rock slide has closed the road so that option is a bust!

Thursday Thirteen #8

13 of my Favourite Foods:

1. Nachos
2. Pie (any kind)
3. Chocolate
4. Mashed potatoes
5. Caesar salad with grilled chicken
6. Anything lemon
7. Fresh berries
8. Plain ripple potato chips with French Onion dip
9. Sushi
10. Croissants
11. Cheese and crackers
12. Cherry Garcia or Half Baked Ben & Jerry’s
13. Spaghetti with tomato sauce