A Close Call

Ethan and I were nearly hit by a car yesterday. I have relived the scene in my head about a million times since.

We were out bike riding around our neighbourhood, when we came to cross the last street before home. Ethan got off his bike, pressed the walk signal, and we waited. There were two ladies with a stroller waiting to cross opposite us. Two or more cars were waiting to turn left onto 152nd (which we were crossing) and the cars travelling along 152nd stopped when their light went red. Here, lemme ‘splain:

So when we saw the walk signal, Ethan walked his bike and I walked on his right side, my left hand on his right shoulder. We were 1/3 of the way across when I realized that the first car in line to turn left onto 152nd was coming right for us. She had gunned it (I think to beat the stroller) and she was seriously SO about to hit us. HARD.

I pushed Ethan and his bike forward with a huge heave, then snatched my own back foot forward (inches – inches, maybe, if even that much) to avoid being run over. She slammed on her brakes and my face was not even a foot from hers; her van was angled with the front wheel just behind my leg. She put her hands up to her mouth – oh! she said – and I screamed, I mean SCREAMED this guttural roar at her. I slammed my forearm into her driver’s window and YELLED again (not English, not sure what it was) whereupon she took off.

So what did I do? I chased her – yes I left my son in the middle of the road. The two ladies with the stroller were yelling too. She stopped again and I stopped beside her window and YELLED (I inherited my mother’s actress-on-stage gift of projecting from the diaphragm, baby) “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING THAT IS MY CHILD!” and as I raised my arm again (apparently to beat up her car, WTF?) she took off, this time for good. In retrospect I may have hightailed it outta there too if a crazy lady was screeching at jet-engine decibels mere inches from MY face.

The stroller ladies yelled “We got her license” and I ran across four lanes to Ethan. All other cars were stopped even though the 152nd light had gone green. He had very sensibly finished crossing to the other side of the road even though his mother had apparently gone quite insane and was chasing cars like a dog. He played it cool when I knelt down and asked him if he was all right, but his heart was beating pretty hard. Mine hadn’t started again yet.

I held his hand with one of mine and picked up his bike with the other and we turned behind the hedge, where I promptly burst into tears. I stumbled him to the gate and just before we got there, one of the stroller ladies caught us. Stroller Lady Merle (bless your heart, wherever you are) stood there on that sidewalk and hugged me, this complete stranger, until I could breathe again. Then she walked me home so I could write down the license and her name and number. She made me promise to call it into the police. And I did.

I KNOW it was probably pure accident, and I KNOW the lady was probably pretty freaked out, but I HAD TO call it in. She was an older lady, what if she was unsafe to drive? What if she had done this before? What if she accidentally did it again, but the next mom didn’t get her kid out of the way in time? The police did take it pretty seriously; they put out an alert to the squad cars in the area. If they saw a vehicle matching, they would pull her over and talk to her. And if she had any prior vehicle incidents, too bad for her. And if she has any in the future, this will not look good.

Don’t mess with Mama Bear.

That lady’s lucky I didn’t roll her van over through sheer adrenalin.

The Question of the Week

So earlier this week I heard the yell that no mother wants to hear. I was downstairs and Jack was upstairs when this crazy scream came from upstairs. I ran up the stairs 3 or 4 at a time – in fact, I probably only touched the stairs twice on the way up! I found him in the bathroom... and wait, nothing appeared to be bleeding... his arms and legs were still attached to his body, in fact.

No, what precipitated the insane cry was this:

“Mummy, my poo looks JUST like a question mark!”

So of course I have to look, and do you know? It really was the most perfect question mark. With the bottom dot and everything. So here’s the visual – not that I’d take a PICTURE or anything; do you think I’m THAT gross? But I just needed to leave you with something to think about.

Friday Fill-Ins #7

1. I believe whatever doesn't kill you does indeed make you stronger. Not a cliché, in fact, but the truth. You learn and grow from every experience.
2. If you're good at something, do it lots. And sing it from the rooftops.
3. Why so glum, chum?
4. Something is out there, it's beyond your wildest imagination!
5. If my life were a sitcom, it would be titled Ho-Hum.
6. Sitting on my back porch I see blue sky, clouds and mountains (if I crane my neck just right).
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to seeing the Zachers again at Eliot’s, tomorrow my plans include a BBQ for visiting Italians and Sunday, I want to picnic at the park!

Thursday Thirteen #7

Thirteen things that the male members of this household think happen by magic:

1. Dinner appears on the table – poof! Every night!
2. Clean clothes always reappear in the drawer, inside-outed and folded and ready to wear.
3. Library books go back on time and thus no fines are incurred.
4. Bottles get returned to the bottle depot and the magic fairy who takes them there keeps every penny for herself. (Hey, it’s not much but it is a couple of Starbucks’ worth)
5. Permission slips and show and tell appear in the kids’ backpacks – ta da!
6. Groceries. Stocked in the cupboards and fridge.
7. When going somewhere overnight, somebody has thought of everything and even thoughtfully packed that everything into convenient bags.
8. Playdates, appointments and other items on the calendar automatically appear on the family planner at the beginning of each week.
9. We get registered for fun camps and special outings.
10. Birthday parties – kids appear on cue and there is food and games for them. Goody bags are full and go home with the kids, but there are always two left over for the boys of the house.
11. All the blinds in the house mysteriously open in the morning and close at night.
12. Food that is left in the sink somehow grinds itself up.
13. Like magic, we always get caught when we’re awake when we shouldn’t be.

Another Boy's Life

7:30 am – I wake up.
7:31 am – I ignore my Mummy for approximately 12 hours.
7:45 pm – I go to bed.

A Boy's Life

5:41 am – I wake up. I lay there for a LONG TIME.
5:42 am – It’s time to go tell Mummy that I am the first one awake. I know she will enjoy being the second one awake.
5:43 am – I’m not sure why she wasn’t as excited as I was, but I don’t think she even opened her eyes before telling me to go back to bed. She’s rude. And her breath stinks.
7:30 am – Mummy and Jack come in, saying something about getting up for camp. Can’t they see I’m trying to sleep? I’m going to lie here and snuffle with Stripey for a while until Mummy really freaks out.
7:40 am – I’ve asked what is for breakfast about eighty-hundred times and Mummy hasn’t answered me once. Actually, she may have answered me but I really haven’t been paying attention so I think I should just ask again. I wish I could twist the lid off the strawberry jam myself, then I’d make every meal for myself since jam should be in every meal. And ketchup, but I can get the ketchup by myself already. Mummy says it’s made from tomatoes so why won’t I eat tomato sauce on my spaghetti but I know she’s fooling. Daddy puts ketchup on his French Toast so Mummy won’t make French Toast any more. She says it’s gross and she thinks she is the LEAST disgusting person of all of us. I think she is the MOST disgusting because she puts on lip gloss and then wants to kiss me.
8:15 am – I get in the bath and I wash my hair and body all by myself. I am super fast at this, so why is Mummy mad again? I’m so fast I didn’t even need to wet all of my body! She’s mumbling something again about hosing me down so I guess I’d better lie down. Once my ears are underwater I can’t hear her. She leaves the room for a second so I think now is the time to ask for help. I don’t know why she is always in the middle of things. I’ve tried to get in the middle of a tire swing and it’s not that exciting. She should stop the middle of things and just play with me.
8:47 am – I have my shoes on and I am sitting in the car. Mummy is trying to make Jack put on his own shoes. I wouldn’t be late for my camp if she just put his shoes on for him. Her face kind of looks purple. Cool.
8:53 am – I ask Mummy how much longer until we get to Future Stars Sports Camp. She says 6 minutes so I know we will get there before 9:00.
9:01 am – She lied.
9:02 am – We are finally here. Mummy sprays me with sunscreen as we are running to the door. The cubby for my snack is black which is cool because it’s my third favourite colour. Purple and pink are the first and second. I like this camp because we get to play play play. I get sweaty but that’s ok because sweat is good.
11:31 am – Mummy is late. But not as late as Daddy was yesterday.
11:32 am – I am the last one here but she is picking me up now. I tell her the thing that I tell her every time I see her: “I’m hungry”. She likes to hear that because otherwise she would probably always forget to get me food. I haven’t eaten in almost an hour. Mummy says that I am not allowed to say I am starving because I should think about other kids who really don’t get any food. If I met those kids I would give them all the food in our fridge except the things I like.
12:00 pm – We pick up Jack from Pedalheads. Since I can ride with no training wheels now, I am much better than Jack who tips over all the time. I don’t get why his teacher says he is doing great when he is always falling over.
12:10 pm – We are finally eating. Mummy is looking at the clock. I bet she’s wondering if she can have the “gin” thing yet.
12:30 pm – I ask if I can play MarioKart. She says not until Jack is done eating but he takes FOREVER. I ask if I can just turn it on but not play until Jack is done. Jack says he’s full but Mummy doesn’t believe him. I know what to do - I just give her the blinky blink look the pussycat gave in Shrek and I turn on the Wii. She doesn’t stop me.
1:30 pm – Mummy says we’ve been playing Wii way too long and we have to turn it off and play outside. I remind her that we only play Wii so she can get work done on the computer. She makes that gaspy sound and walks away.
1:45 pm – She turns off the Wii and makes us play other things. She says if I don’t play with my toys she will sell them to Toy Traders. I go up and mess them around a little so it looks like I’ve been playing with everything. That way she won’t sell any of them. She comes up and screams something about “a tornado hitting the room” and that she “already cleaned it before Judy came to clean” which totally doesn’t make sense because Judy is supposed to be the one cleaning and everyone knows tornados are an outdoor weather thing. She throws my stuffies at me to put in the basket and I’m pretty sure that’s not good parenting.
2:00 pm – We ride bikes for a while and play with the neighbours. They are mostly younger than me, but Kaz is older and he is cool. He plays hockey with me and helps me tie my water balloons.
3:00 pm – I just soaked Mummy and she says no more water balloons and she makes me clean up all the burst balloon pieces.
3:30 pm – Mummy makes me come with her on Errands again. Errands are trips in the car and there’s lots of stopping and getting out and holding hands through parking lots and not getting what I want in stores. Errands are when I ask to go home and Mummy says “Do you think I WANT to drag you with me?” and we glare at each other for a while.
5:00 pm – At home, I sneak another granola bar out of the cupboard, and then a cheese string, and then a yogurt tube. I’m not allowed to have dinner until after swimming so I have to sneak all this food now.
6:00 pm – I jump into the pool for swimming lessons. My teacher is 19 years old so I make sure to tell her that my mom is much, much older than her. My mom is so old that her eyes go all crinkly when she smiles at me. I think she may be fat, too, but when I asked her she said she wasn’t old or fat. I just don’t know what to think because I know she’s lying about the old thing.
7:00 pm – Mummy has made gross food again. I told her if she made spaghetti and meatballs every day, with ketchup instead of sauce, I would not say eewww. But she makes me eat yucky stuff like chicken and rice, and always I have to eat all my vegetables before I can even think about treats. But I still think about the treats all the time, even before the vegetables are done.
7:30 pm – Well, it’s bedtime and Jack and me put on our pyjamas and brush our teeth, and Mummy and Daddy only had to ask us twelve times tonight! It’s pretty funny, because as soon as they go downstairs we play together for hours and hours but we pretend to lie down for a minute anyway. I get my Forever Hug from Mummy and we talk for a little while after storytime before she says that a mommy’s work is never done and rolls off my bed to go do work. Sometimes I sneak down and see that her work is sitting on the couch just doing typing on the computer which doesn’t look too fun. I invite Jack into my room but when Daddy catches us I pretend I was trying to go to sleep. Before I go to sleep I think about all the fun things we can do tomorrow. Maybe I’ll get up early and tell Mummy all about them at 5 o’clock! I read Where’s Waldo for a while and finally Stripey, Tonsil and Whimper help me to fall asleep.

Friday Fill-Ins #6

1. If I could be a fly on the wall I would buzz into each of the kids’ classrooms for an entire day. I’d love to see how they behave without me around.
2. Jealousy is sometimes valid, sometimes pathetic, but mostly it is just far too soul-consuming.
3. When I see a shooting star my wish would be that the shooting star doesn’t hurtle down to earth and slam into my happy little home.
4. I'd rather be eating bon-bons than doing housework any day! Which is hilarious because I’m not sure that I’ve ever had a bon-bon, but it is a common misconception that those who only work part-time spend the other part eating and relaxing. I’d just like to reiterate that I work from 7:00 am to 8:00 pm every day. And it is all-consuming.
5. Certain songs when I hear them make me wanna do this strange shoulder twitch thing which is the equivalent of car-dancing.
6. If time were in a bottle I would only let little capfuls out at a time and save the rest.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to volunteering at the Tour de White Rock bike race, tomorrow my plans include shipping the kids to Grandma’s for a sleepover and Sunday, I want to take the kids to the Art Gallery after my bike race shift is over!

Thursday Thirteen #6

13 Things On, Under or Near My Desk at Work

1. Pictures – school photos of each of the boys, one of them with Santa, a Sears shot of the four of us and Mike crossing the finish line at Ironman Canada.
2. Empty Starbucks cup – Decaf Tall Vanilla Latte, if you must know – a break from my usual weekly treat which is a Decaf Tall No Whip Peppermint Mocha.
3. Many power cords – just a tangled jungle of mess that really pisses me off every time I have to crawl under the desk with my butt in the air just to plug the freakin’ laptop in.
4. 2 laptops and a desktop computer – because I need the desktop for the internet and the intranet, my laptop for everything I work on at home, and the work laptop for the specialized programs I use for online course creation. It’s a little bit much, switching between all three all day.
5. A broken scanner – useless desk-space-taker-upper.
6. My masculine briefcase – no, I did not receive a beautiful feminine tote for my birthday. I still use the beast.
7. Thumbtacks stuck onto the board in a happy face design – from a day I was trying to stay awake.
8. Many pens but surprisingly no pencil – I could get off my butt and go get one from the supply cabinet I guess. Maybe I’ll get that accomplished next week.
9. A fleece vest for the arctic days – we used to call our floor the wine cellar because they kept us in the basement at an optimum temperature for slowly aging. And we whined about it.
10. Water glass – although our office has many colours of glasses, I find I can only drink water from blue or green. Is that weird? Don’t answer that.
11. My David Beckham collage – the ladies at work all contributed newspaper clippings of my Becks around the time I had tickets to Whitecaps vs. Beckham – I mean the LA Galaxy. I wasn’t allowed to put up the underwear ads, though.
12. File folders – interesting story. I recently went to find some folders to file some very important stuff away, and there in the cabinet were folders with MY OWN WRITING on them that I had used when I was in the department in 1997. I was very happy to recycle those back into circulation.
13. Snacks – it just wouldn’t be my desk without food.

Ethan's Surprise

Ethan's Surprise was awesome!
Last summer, he attended a Pedalheads Bike Camp for a week. They all but guarantee that kids will be off training wheels in a week. Well, Ethan was the "all but". It was hysterical, the 15 year old instructor looking at me and saying, "I don't know what to do; he's the most stubborn kid I've ever met!" He took off the training wheels and rode for a short stretch when bribed with snacks, only to demand they put them back on again once said snack was consumed. Despite the training wheels issue, though, he had a "million times fun" that week. Which is why it was so perplexing why he wouldn't even try to take them off again for this whole year past.

Well, on Monday after we dropped Mike at the airport, I had a brainwave. I said to Ethan, "Wouldn't it be awesome if you learned to ride without training wheels this week, and then we brought Daddy out on Saturday morning just in time to see you riding by. WHAT would his face LOOK like?"

He was intrigued. So all last week, while Mike was away, we added to our bruise collections bit by bit.
On Tuesday, he had his breakthrough day where he could go two pedals' worth on his own. On Wednesday, I could hardly walk. Running hunched over with one hand on the back of the seat is NOT so good for this ol' back. Thursday was the day when he could ride all the way down the lane on his own. He can stop on his own too, but has only started off by himself twice and still has trouble with anything but the mildest of turns.
However, the pride on his face on Saturday morning made me well up. When E. and I were ready, we got Jack to bring a blindfolded Mike out to the end of the driveway, and we yelled "Look" just as Ethan rode by. It was an awesome moment and well worth the week of hard work.

Happy Blog-i-versary To Me!

I turned one today!

In honour of my blogiversary I have changed all the purty layout options... you like?

Friday Fill-Ins #5

1. Oh, I can't wait until I have a big back yard where the kids can play as I relax on a lounge chair with a tall cold drink.
   
2. A Costco-size container of awesome potato salad is the first thing I see when I open my refrigerator.
   
3. I never leave home without shoes.
   
4. If I were a condiment, I would be ketchup because the boys love it so much.
   
5. Wiggling loose teeth in front of me is really high up on my list of pet peeves.
   
6. The last thing I thought of before I went to bed was “morning is going to come way too soon”.
   
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to seeing parrots and tropical plants at the Conservatory with my mom and the boys, tomorrow my plans include surprising Mike with Ethan’s new trick and Sunday, I want to chill!

Summer in Full Swing

I feel like I have lost a bit of focus lately.
So I am going to post a little more about the kids today. Now that summer holidays are in full swing, we have been having a great time with a relaxed but busy schedule, if that makes any sense. It’s very cool not to have to hustle them out the door and scream at them that “We’ll be late, we’ll be late” when does it really matter if we’re late to the beach? Or to berry picking? We have a full summer schedule and we’ve already done so much!
Last Tuesday we celebrated Canada Day. Although the free outdoor Loverboy concert was surprisingly good, we had to put up with the smell of pot and smoke. Mike had taken the kids home after leaving Eliot’s place. Ethan and Jack had already had a blast playing with the other kids and we could see they were on the brink. As in the brink of “look out for grouchy meltdowns”. So I got to stay and hang out with Gene and Kim, Eliot, Janna and James, and Eliot’s cousin Cory, who led Kim and I in a tri-et (what’s triple for duet?) of “Almost Paradise”. I’m pretty sure our blanket neighbours loved it as much as we did.
I had to work the next day (too early), and the boys had their morning “Dive Deep Detectives” camp before heading to Milli and Nancy’s in the afternoon. Dive Deep was fun for them – first of all, because it was for 4-6 yr olds they got to do it together, and secondly because it was led by their former teachers Colleen and Aideen. Every day they “found” something new on their scavenger hunts – sharks, blue whales, seahorses. And they came home with “art” every day too. (Great)
On Thursday I had a dentist appointment in the afternoon where I went through my semiannual process of lying and saying I floss regularly. Now I also lie and say I floss the kids too. Isn’t it enough that I get three of us brushed twice daily? It’s also embarrassing because the dentist and his receptionist wife are my mom and dad’s best friends. I have known them since I was two – we used to live right next door to one another in Fort Langley. They used to have two cats: “Floss Daily” and “Gingivitis” who was of course a ginger cat. At least they have a sense of humour so they must chuckle every time I lie to them. Right? I had left the kids at home this time (all the staff was disappointed since the boys usually bring them drawings – you never feel like chopped liver so much as when people are let down that it’s “only you” coming through the door) and when I finally got back after 3 hours (a full hour to drive there and another to drive back – ERGH) the boys were STILL playing MarioKart. Seriously, three whole hours and they hadn’t moved. Yey for the active summer!
So here’s Jack’s favourite song: “I kissed a girl and I liked it” and as he interprets it: “the taste of her cherry chah-ster”. (It’s chapstick) He belts it out at top of his lungs, running back and forth through the hallway upstairs. So then Ethan gets to thinking about it and in the car later, he offers up the following insight: “But Mummy, it’s a GIRL singing this song and she’s singing about kissing a GIRL and she likes it!” Me: “Hhmm, yes.” Ethan: “Do YOU like kissing girls, Mummy?” and here’s my brilliant response: “Depends on the girl, I guess.” What??? “I mean, if it’s GRANDMA, or Aunty Jen or someone, I would kiss them but really I only kiss Daddy.” And then I realize where this conversation can go and shout “Look! A dump truck!” – “Where? Where?” and crisis is averted. But only for the moment, as Jack starts quietly singing at dinner that night: “Mummy kissed a girl and she liked it” which Mike found hilarious. Hmph.
My birthday weekend was fun. How awesome to wake up to two sweet boys bringing you two King-size chocolate bars? Breakfast in bed, for sure. Mike and I went shopping for a backyard lounge chair for me while the boys were in their last day of camp, but I didn’t find the perfect one yet. After camp we had a relaxing day; Mike enjoyed the Fourth of July holiday from work. Jack and I went to see Wall-E (Ethan didn’t want to go for some reason so he and Mike stayed home) and then the boys made me dinner and dessert. On Saturday I went to my friend’s 60th birthday dinner and arrived home to find friends and dessert waiting. Aaron and I practically share a birthday – we’re one day apart – so usually we celebrate together, and this year was no different. We stayed up late enough to get our second wind – which was potato salad and BBQ pork at 1:30am. One person dipped in and before you knew it we were all scarfing it down!
We went with Jen, Laurence and Hannah to Crescent Beach on Sunday. After a short walk, we met Eliot, Bennett and Madelaine down the beach. Eliot summed it up perfectly by saying “I couldn’t possibly be more relaxed right now”. It was the perfect temperature and we enjoyed the sunshine for a while before inviting everyone back here for ice cream cake. Jen ate a mango instead – she has lost 56 pounds so far – yey Jen! She’s already lost the equivalent of an Ethan but she wants to lose a me so she is working hard on it. She’s doing great!
We picked berries on Monday. Got the first of the raspberries and lots of strawberries, too. As always, I can’t leave the fruit stand without buying pies – this year I dragged myself away with only two. We picnicked with Chantal, Fraser and Bryce, Kim and Marzia. It was hot and sunny and my forehead and neck got burned again. Of course I had the boys in hats and sunscreen but I am awful about remembering mine. Later I took the boys to Pyjama Storytime at the Library, in pj’s and slippers, then straight home to bed. It was a perfect summer day.
Mike has been gone all week and we have been working hard on a surprise for him. I can’t give any further details in case he reads this before he gets on the plane but I think he’ll be shocked and pleased at what Ethan can do. We’re off to work on it some more before swim lessons, so I’ll sign out for now. More on that next week!

Thursday Thirteen #5

13 Songs You Will Have in Your Head All Day

1. “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” – Kylie Minogue
   Sing it with me: “LA la la, la la lala la, la la la, lala la la la.” Yippee - now it’s in YOUR head too! I so admire Kylie for the white pantsuit. Wow, she could sure pull it off. We had a weekly movie night while living in LA, and I remember one week we hadn’t pressed play yet and this video came on. Conversation ceased altogether – four men sat speechless, drooling at the screen. Go, Kylie, go.
   
2. “I Love You” – Barney the giant purple dinosaur
   We have stayed true to our word. When I was pregnant with Ethan, Mike and I made a vow that we would never allow any Barney watching or listening in our house. Ever. And we have never broken that vow. Is it so wrong to vehemently hate something that is supposed to be such a good guy? I do.
   
3. “Rico Suave” – Gerardo
   Sshhh. Don’t tell anyone, but Mike has this CD. He “claims” an ex-girlfriend bought it for him years ago. These lyrics are too awesome not to post here: “My only addiction has to do with the female species/I eat 'em raw like sushi” and “There's not a woman that can handle a man like me/That's why I juggle two or three”. The song is in Spanglish and the Spanish parts are pretty hilarious too. A bunch of stuff about taking him home to mama. Awesome.
   
4. “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” – Wham
   This song has always been FUN. Remember the video, with George Michael and Andrew Ridgely boppin’ around in those short striped shorts? Why was it such a shock to me when I found out George Michael was gay? (PS Not that there’s anything WRONG with that) I’m so glad the intelligent songwriters got together for this one. Otherwise I would have never known that you could rhyme “go go” with “yo yo”. Genius.
   
5. “Baby Got Back” – Sir Mix-a-Lot
   This is the only song that has had me slapping my own ass in a dance club. And possibly other people’s asses too; that part’s a little foggy. I loved the fact that baby Emma on Friends would only stop crying when they sang this song to her. “I like BIG BUTTS and I cannot lie.” Made me feel better about singing non-traditional lullabies to the boys. I would choose songs I knew the words to rather than dumb ol’ “mama’s gonna buy you a mockingbird”. That one I usually made up the end anyway because I couldn’t remember what came after horse and cart. At least I could sing the whole of “Hard Day’s Night” or “Lose Yourself”. Although in retrospect maybe Eminem was not the most wholesome choice.
   
6. “Oh Yeah” – Yello (from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)
   This was awesome. “Chicka chick-ahhhh. Nee-urh BOMP BOMP.” I don’t think there were too many real words except “Beautiful”. I loved Ferris Bueller and loved it even more for including the Beatles song “Twist and Shout”. I had been a Beatles fan already forever when this came out, and finally other people were singing it. I was almost cool for a second.
   
7. “Wannabe” – Spice Girls
   What is this ABOUT? “If you wannabe my lover, you gotta get with my friends”???? Yeah, I don’t THINK so. If you get with my friends I ain’t coming near you. I’m just sayin’. Zigazig-ah.
   
8. “Tubthumping” – Chumbawamba
   This song makes anybody who sings along say the word “up” like my Liverpudlian relatives say it – more like “oop”. I get knocked down, but I get oop again...
   
9. “What is Love” - Haddaway (from A Night at the Roxbury)
   Did your head just twitch a little? Go on, admit it. Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more.
   
10. “...Baby One More Time” – Britney Spears
    Still the best Britney song ever (which is saying SSOOOO much, I know). Way before she became a train wreck.
    
11. “Tequila” – The Champs
    The boys bought me a birthday card that plays this song. They chose it because of the singing worm, although the text of the card is about partying with tequila, not so appropriate coming from 4 and 5 year-olds... I opened it while Gene and Kim, Aaron and Marzia were over and EVERY single one of them started grooving to the tune immediately. Didja know that the only lyric to this song is the word “Tequila”? And that it is played three times in the song? And that nobody can dance to it as awesome as PeeWee Herman?
    
12. “Who Let the Dogs Out” – Baha Men
    Who? Who? Who? Who? As in, who the hell approved this song for general release? And also, who authorized every sports stadium to play it ad infinitum?
    
13. “Mambo No. 5” – Lou Bega
    This takes me back to our LA days again. I admit it; there was a little part of me that wished I was named Monica, Erica, Rita, Tina, Sandra, Mary or Jessica just so I could have my very own place in the song. I think I would have preferred to be Sandra, ‘cause she just got to be in the sun and hang out. Although Mary could go all night long.

I hope I have helped you clear out any valid and/or rational thoughts you may have had in your head, replacing them with any combination of these songs to drive you insane for the next few hours/days/weeks. You’re welcome.

Friday Fill-Ins #4

I had this ready last Friday and forgot to post it. Oops. Here's Tuesday's Friday Fill-Ins:

1. Holidays in the summer are awesome, not frequent enough, and go by too fast.

2. Chicken and red peppers are my favorite things to grill. Oh I just got hungry again.

3. My thoughts are my own. Seriously, I don’t share them at all. Obviously that’s why I have a blog.

4. My birthday is what I'm most looking forward to this weekend!

5. My favorite book so far this summer is Moonlit Cage by Linda Holeman. Couldn’t put it down! It’s set around 1850, about an Afghani girl whose travels take her to India and England. Above all else, it is a love story and it really struck a chord with me.

6. Slowly is the best way to begin a day.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to possible birthday surprises, tomorrow my plans include a fun dinner with old friends and Sunday, I want to maybe take a walk at the beach with a big fat ice cream!

Thursday Thirteen #4

Here are 13 TV shows I miss - some recent, some form way back in the day. As you can see, I have been a TV addict from a very early age!

1. Friends – I can relate almost every day of my life to something in a Friends episode. Tuesday was like “The One With the Secret Closet” and yesterday was more like “The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance”. Thank GOD this show is still on reruns all the time.

2. Seinfeld – I still quote Seinfeld. Regularly. And the alarming thing is that although there are plenty of my friends who understand me (Briana – you’ve got my back, right?) there are many who do not. Because they are too young; otherwise known as “I am too old”. I used a Seinfeld reference in the Excel Intro class I was teaching a couple of weeks ago, and all I got was blank stares from the newbies. I told them I wouldn’t teach the rest of the class until they watched channel 14 between 9 and 10 pm.

3. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip – this one was fairly recent. Had Matthew Perry and Amanda Peet in it, and the writing was fantastic. It was one of the smartest shows on TV and it got canned. That totally sucks.

4. The Sopranos – I’m not into violence but this show captivated me. I hated Tony; I loved Tony – I was conflicted. I am an animal lover who laughed when a drugged-up Christopher sat on Adriana’s dog and killed her.

5. Knightrider – I always liked KITT better than Hasslehoff. And it was such a big thrill to get my picture taken beside KITT at Universal Studios when I was about 11. Strangely, it wasn’t as big of a thrill when I went back at age 28. KITT wasn’t even roped off by then, was pretty rusted and nobody had waxed him since the 90s. Poor KITT.

6. The Wonder Years – did Kevin and Winnie ever make it past age 13? I LOVED this show. If you didn’t love this show, you obviously were never a gawky nerdy teen who suffered angst. I’ve never really realized that I was angsty before, but there you have it. I IDENTIFIED with this show, folks.

7. Cheers – “Norm!... Mr. Peterson.” I loved Coach but Woody was so gloriously dumb. Carla was the first smartass my parents let me watch. I never really cared for Sam or Diane but Kirstie Alley was awesome.

8. The Cosby Show – another one I sat down with my parents weekly and watched religiously. It was funny without being crude. Good, clean fun. The one problem was that it was on at 8 pm on a Thursday night and soccer practice finished at 7:45 in Langley. That gave us 15 minutes to race home but we always missed the opening by 5 minutes.

9. Family Ties – Alex P. Keaton. Need I say more?

10. Beverly Hills, 90210 – Ohhh wait, I’m in luck – it’s coming BACK! In September! I am SO going to be watching!

11. Everybody Loves Raymond – this show was pretty funny. And I liked it more because I got to see a taping of it while living in LA. I think I would like it still more now that I have kids of my own. I listened to Ray Romano’s comedy routine on a book on tape while driving LA to Vancouver and it kept me awake for a LONG time. Funny stuff.

12. Party of Five – sappy, true. But I loved Bailey and Charlie.

13. Ally McBeal – because Marzia and I used to have McBeal night every week when we were living not far from one another in New West. Good times! Cuddling up with Siska, who was still a tiny pup, having snacks and watching the dancing baby. How could you go wrong?