Friday Fill-Ins #12

1. When I'm sick I'm forced to continue on with regular life. I am, after all, a mom.
2. When I take a walk, I think about one foot, two foot, don’t trip, one foot, two foot, don’t trip...
3. Money can't buy happiness but it can help me travel to Hawaii which makes me VERY happy.
4. Cotton makes me comfy and leather makes me sweat.
5. The strangest person/character I've had lewd thoughts about was Wile E. Coyote. And let me clarify, it was in a dream and I drank a Neo Citran before bed that night. Weird.
6. My favourite colour these days is teal because it looks pretty good on me and it’s everywhere this fall.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to nothing, tomorrow my plans include a party at Kim and Gene’s and Sunday, I want to BBQ at Shannon’s!

Thursday Thirteen #12

Thirteen things that every woman should know how to do

(I stole these...)

1. Take off a bra through a shirt sleeve
2. Choose the proper people to accompany you to the bathroom at the bar
3. Select a trashy novel for reading at the beach
4. Keep kids busy in order to go to the bathroom alone
5. Prepare an elegant appetizer from random pantry supplies for unannounced company
6. Respond to a child's midnight announcement of, "I have to bring 75 brownies to school tomorrow."
7. Filch the phone number of a good babysitter from the neighbour
8. Get makeup off a cell phone screen
9. Extract the good candy from the Halloween bags without the kids noticing
10. Actually download pictures from the digital camera
11. Create 3 or more plausible reasons to "stop by Target"
12. Drive in the snow
13. Surprise a child by going to 7-11 for a "treat" without him knowing it's because you need a slurpee

Friday Fill-Ins #11

1. Dancing to the song while playing Rock Band makes me mess it up completely. I have to stand there motionless while singing, usually with one hand in my pocket.
2. The last time I sneezed I nearly peed my pants. Oh, the joys of motherhood.
3. When I drive I speed, shamelessly and consistently.
4. I saw Gwynneth Paltrow standing near my locker at a spa in Santa Monica. She was tiny, like a size zero, and I was pregnant and gigantic in comparison. I heard she’s 5’9”, same as me, but she was a waif.
5. Give me space, give me room, give me this girls weekend NOW.
6. Next week I am looking forward to taking the kids to the fair at the PNE. Not looking forward to all the money I’m going to have to spend there, though. Seriously, a pickle for $5? I know it’s a Pickle with a capital P, but seriously?
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to belly dancing with the girls, tomorrow my plans include kayaking and enjoying our girls weekend and Sunday, I want to join Mike and the kids at my company picnic for some fun, food and games.

Flush

Dear Family:
Although we have had this discussion an infinite number of times, it bears repeating since it appears as if my message has been falling on deaf ears. (And by “discussion”, I suppose that I mean one-way rhetorical monologue)
The issue at hand:

I suspect the five-year-old when it comes to unflushed excrement, and the leftover urine can be attributed to either the four or the five-year-old. But stray pieces of toilet paper could have belonged to anyone. And the toenail clippings? Feel free to hypothesize but I will give you a clue and hint that his name could start with “M” and might possibly end in “ike”.
My personal feeling on the matter is that if an object is of so little value and quite disgusting enough to be placed in the toilet anyway, then said object should be flushed away forever, preferably immediately. Walking past my own bathroom in our first-world country and having that bathroom smell like a sewage ditch from an undeveloped nation is simply not acceptable.
Here is the solution, located conveniently on the side of the tank:

Simple, no?
With gratitude and appreciation for your immediate attention in correcting this deviant behaviour – The Matriarch

Thursday Thirteen #11

13 things you probably never knew about me

1. At night, I keep myself at the ideal temperature by using The Regulator. This is a process that involves sticking my right foot out of the covers. Just the toes in winter, up to the hip in summer.
2. I hate the phone. I loved it when email became more prevalent; it is definitely my communication tool of choice. It started when I was little and my parents had me phone the airport information line to check Gran’s flight arrival time. They dialled a wrong number and held the phone to my head as I had to talk to a stranger. He asked me my name and then he said, “Tarzan? Do you live in the JUNGLE Tarzan?” until I burst into tears and my dad realized his mistake.
3. I have always wanted to own a sword. I used to go into House of Knives and stare at the swords until the salesperson got all shifty and uncomfortable. I don’t know what I would DO with a sword if I had one, but there you have it.
4. Although I love chocolate and I love Pop-Tarts, I don’t love chocolate Pop-Tarts.
5. I actually like rain. It's refreshing, peaceful and smells good. And it appeals to my melancholy.
6. I have a brown spot in the iris of my right eye, which is mostly blue. The other eye is totally blue. I just had to go to the mirror to check which one has the spot.
7. In my earliest memory I'm walking down a street in England with my dad. It was before we moved to Canada in 1975, so I wasn’t quite 2 years old yet.
8. I will never own a minivan. NEVER.
9. My first name is derived from Thomasina, and some say it was commonly given to witches during the Middle Ages.
10. I have an ancestor who was a pirate and there is an island named after him just off the coast of Central America.
11. Clowns scare me.
12. Same with ghosts, but I will talk to ghosts. I won’t talk to clowns.
13. My porn name would be Whiskers Francis (first pet, street I grew up on). Or else Mog Church. Neither one is remotely sexy, so I definitely would not make a good porn star.

The Frantic Fading Weeks of Summer

It dawned on me today that there are exactly two weeks left before school starts. A little sort of a hyperventilating panic set in – there are many things I still want to do with the boys before September. And yet, I am excited to have a little more non-boy time on my hands once school is back in full swing. E. will be in school 8:40 – 2:30 EVERY weekday! Woo hoo! And J. will be 3 mornings a week. So even if I volunteer one morning in E’s classroom again (if the teacher wants me!) I will have two mornings to myself again. And one day at work, which is all about me, me, me. (Oh, and about work, too) Ah, freedom!
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Sorry, I was sidetracked for a minute doing a little happy dance. Wish you could have seen it... naw, I’m glad you didn’t. Any last shred of respect you may have for me would have disappeared.
Well, we still have a ton of things to squeeze in, but that doesn’t mean we’ve been idle for these first two weeks of August. Silly fools that we are, we have been jam packed:
Aug 1st: Bowling with the boys. And Mamma Mia for me in the evening.
Aug 2nd: Day at Granville Island with our guys, Briana, Rob, Liam & Kieran, Jen, Laurence & Hannah then dinner at my M&D’s.

Aug 3rd: Played Wii with Barry in the morning, then went to the Sandcastle competition at the Spirit of the Sea festival in White Rock.


Aug 4th: BC Day – decided to run errands, forgetting that places like Costco close on holidays. Came home and rode bikes instead.
Aug 5th: Played pirates and Pokemon all day. Tired us out:

Aug 6th: Worked.
Aug 7th: To my friend Linda’s on one of the hottest days of the year, where we picked blackberries and all the kids organized and ran relay races like they were competing in the Olympics themselves. Swim lessons in the evening.
Aug 8th: Abbotsford Air Show all day, then watched the Olympics Opening Ceremony in the evening. There began my Olympic TV obsession for 2008. Next Olympics I’ll be too busy to watch any events on TV, and hopefully I’ll be at some of them!

Aug 9th: Took the ferry over to Sooke on our camping trip. Waited out a rain squall to erect the tent. The boys jumped on the trampoline in swim shorts and rain jackets. Went to bed and froze throughout the night.
Aug 10th: The day dawned beautifully sunny. We spent some time at the beach, had a picnic, then swam off the dock in Sooke Basin. Ate a great BBQ dinner and then had s’mores.

Aug 11th: Another great Sooke day. Lots of Lego, Slip N Slide and Stomp Rockets.

Aug 12th: Laundry (like 18 loads) then to the Vancouver Zoo. Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my! And a hippo.

Aug 13th: Worked.
Aug 14th: Saw my parents in the morning, swam in Kim’s pool all afternoon, then the kids went to swimming lessons and I went and tried archery for the first time. I had a great time and won two donut holes and an apple for hitting the right targets!

Aug 15th: Saw Nancy and her kids, up from San Diego for a vacation. Spent the day at the lake with them!

Aug 16th: Spent the day at the other side of the lake with the Mintens, Kim and Gene. Then that night our neighbours set up a projector and screen so the kids could all watch a movie outdoors. Curious George was a big hit, but the kids didn’t go to bed until 11!

Aug 17th: The boys hung out with Mike while I had my Olympics interview and training. (It went well, I hope I’m in!) They went to Susan’s for dinner while I hit the Night Market with Carrie and Ivana for some Dim Sum and Bubble Tea and cheap shopping.
Aug 18th: Jack and Mike had their father-son Woodworking class where they made a wooden train while Ethan and I had some quality time building a treasure chest at home.

And today we’ve done nothing but bead. Those Perler bead crafts are still a huge hit around our house! We still hope to hit the waterslides, the PNE fair, the waterpark and lots more before September. Wish us luck!

Friday Fill-Ins #10

I had this all ready to go to post Friday morning, then got really busy lounging at the lake for a couple of days. So here it is, late but better than never!

1. The last meal I had at a restaurant was sushi (veggie dynamite roll) and sunomono at Hi-Dojo’s for lunch Wednesday.
2. Other people’s feet is something I intensely dislike.
3. The full moon is mysterious, beautiful, and sometimes makes me cry. I am a Cancer, so I’m supposed to be a moon girl.
4. “There you go, have a nice day” is one of my favorite local expressions. “Local” is our household, and this phrase is my favourite because it is uttered by Jack every time he farts.
5. Sometimes it's best to keep your mouth shut and your eyes and ears open.
6. Batman: The Dark Knight is the best movie I've seen so far this year!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to nothing, tomorrow my plans include spending the day by the lake and Sunday, I want to ace my Olympics 2010 volunteer interview and training session, then relax with the girls at the Night Market!